How to Get Your Ex Back with Your Silence

Published: 26th May 2010
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I'm sure that if you've experienced a painful breakup, the last thing you can imagine yourself doing is putting your ex out of your mind and out of your life. After all, the only reason you're hurting so badly is because you miss him and you want to be with him - even if he's the one who dumped you.

But I'm afraid, if you want any prospect of a second chance and if you want him to respect you, it's something you're going to have to face up to doing. Cut him loose, break off all contact and the chances are... he'll be so shocked by your sudden total absence from his life that he'll think again about what he really wants.

What it will do for you is this: there's an almost overwhelming temptation at a time of crisis like this to abandon our cautious, rational ways and act on reflex and instinct. This is almost always a bad thing. Speaking or acting without judgment is likely to make any situation worse. Don't follow your heart because your heart is in a mess right now. Let your head take the reins and keep you out of trouble.

So while you're looking after yourself and rebuilding your confidence, he'll be faced with consequences of his actions. It's often said that you should be careful what you wish for in case you get it. He'll soon start to see that he might have made a mistake, whereas, if you don't give him the enforced space to learn that he might never see he's done anything wrong.

If you stay cool and distant in those early days, there's a good chance he'll eventually be ready to take you back into the relationship but on your terms. So keep your nerve, it will be worth it in the end. When you're back together as a couple, you'll have renewed respect and redoubled strength.

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